April is Car Care Month, and as part of that, you get to see my mug on the dirt-encrusted window of a car. You’re welcome!

Yes, it has come to this: famous “dirty windshield” artist Scott Wade was asked by Sears Auto to immortalize Automobile Magazine, Jean Knows Cars, and me in dirt. (“Immortalize”? Let me get a hose…)

This is a man who grew up in central Texas on a long dirt road. Every car around him was perennially covered by a thin layer of limestone and clay, and he started drawing on the windows because, why not? First with a fingernail, then with a Popsicle stick, then with brushes, and it all leads straight downhill to my face. Thank you, Scott. Thank you very much. My mother will relate to this, I promise you.

You can see some of Scott Wade’s other dirt-works on his website, Dirty Car Art, and a quick time-lapse of the work in progress below.

In case you want to try this at home, Scott suggests using very fine dirt, or, alternatively, whole wheat flour. Cover your car window with a light coat of cooking oil, then use a blow dryer to blow handfuls of dust onto the glass. “With a little finesse, the result is very similar to the real deal,” he says. Or drive down a lot of dirt roads until it happens naturally.

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Your Wiper Blade 5-Point Plan, in honor of Car Care Month